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Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication

  • 04 April, 2021
  • Gira Schofield

While in the heat of battle, I’m sure most have been on both receiving and giving ends of these types of situations. How does it feel when you are upset? Which words do you use? Do either people or groups come out of that conflict feeling good?

The truth of the matter is, neither party wins or truly feels good. Whether you are aware of the chemical reaction that is happening in your brain, spreading through your nervous system, causing your heart rate to go up, your breath to become shallow, your tone of voice changing, your thoughts becoming singular and directive, and some may even forget what they completely said all together. What is this heat of battle that is happening to you on a mental and physiological level?

“Gira, are you saying that we should not express ourselves?”

“Heck No!”

Communicate your Truth. Communicate your Belief. Communicate your Viewpoint of the matter.

What I am saying is, allow yourself to become aware of your violent or nonviolent communication skills- mentally and physically. State your viewpoint, and then listen. Actually LISTEN to the other party/group/person.

It does not matter which side of the coin you firmly stand on, but learning ways to communicate your thoughts and behavior does matter.

At the end of the day, violent communication of your emotional perception never wins. Both people or parties consciously or unconsciously do not feel good about it afterwards; we as humanity continue to stay in a standstill, spiraling into the perception of our emotional thoughts and behavior. 

Humanity, we as a race, are not perfect. I will gladly raise my hand first and show my imperfect faults.

We as the individual, “Little I” or “Big I”, can make new choices to use different words and put our ego to the side. We can listen with our heart. Communicate with new thoughts, new words, and new behaviors. Here and now, this exact moment, you, we, I, can choose differently. You have the power within yourself to make that decision of violent or nonviolent communication. You are the only one that can change your words.

What are the signs to look for when you are communicating through violent or nonviolent communication? 

Can you see how it makes you feel in your body and mind? Do you see if it is coming from a place of “Little I” or “Big I”? Are you reacting or observing? Can you see if it is based out of fear or out of love? Or are you only trying to get your point across without actually listening to another?

Here are some key signs:

By changing keywords, from “you” to “we”, you allow your mind to go from an ego state- the self, or “Little I” to a higher perspective state- the Self or “Big I”.

How do you tell the difference between the two?

  1. The self- “Little I”

The self reacts to a situation or person placing blame, anger, frustration, and ridicule. The Ego loves to complicate things, point fingers, placing fear, doubt, uncertainty, criticism, or judgment onto someone or something.

  1. The Self- “Big I”

The Higher-Self keeps it simple, comes from a place of love, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, sincerity, and respect for one another. The Self observes, while the emotion of, say anger, can still trigger you. The Self allows for the emotion to surface, embraces the emotion in a healthy way, and forgives & releases the emotion without projecting it on to another person, place, or situation.

Check out my video, “The Power of Observing vs Reacting (Stop Projecting Your Emotional Reactions)”

Remember, we are made whole, perfect, and complete in the eyes of the Infinite Creator, allowing us to freely choose our unique expression.

Take back your power.

Take back your sovereignty.

Take back your innocence.

In this moment of the here and now, how do you want to exist as part of the human race? Do you want to be the change you wish to see in the world?

“The most important trip you take in life is meeting people half way.” –Henry Boyle

Do you desire to become confident in your communication skills?
Does this happen to you:
You can't quite get the words out, you stop yourself, or you regret what you said after stating your opinion.
And while this is happening your throat gets tight, it becomes hard to swallow, and your palms get sweaty, right? 
I too, struggled expressing myself into words. I would either have a neutral point of view and stop myself from speaking or I would have word vomit and regret what I said later.
Finally, I got tired of regret and holding my words back. 
Over the years, I studied body language and linguistics. 
I created an easy to follow roadmap on 'how to find your voice and confidently communicate.'
Now, I continue to implement pivotal phrases and practice them among family, friends, and co-workers. 
Are you ready to speak with confidence and charisma?
Click here for more details on FCM, Fearlessly Confident Masterclass.

~You Matter~



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